February 10, 2022

Dear Friends and Family,

Rehearsals are underway for Wide-awake Jake, our first live production run with a live audience since March of 2020. It is very exciting. I can’t wait to see you all at the theater at one of the performances from March 4 – March 19, 2022. Tickets will go on sale this weekend!
 
Wide-awake Jake is about a young boy, Jake, who can’t fall asleep. His cousin Sarah tells him that he needs to go on a journey to find the Yami of Yawn because the Yami can help him go to sleep. I have a hard time falling asleep myself. It’s gotten worse during COVID but I realize that I don’t stress about it as much. At midnight, I do my daily word games and now the daily Wordle (I also have a Wordle app that I am on too much). I am a creature of habit. I then try to go to sleep. I will do a breathing technique but if that doesn’t work then I will turn on the TV but I turn it off before fully falling asleep. When I wake up in the middle of the night (at least once or twice a night to pee) I will go through the routine again. Sometimes if I’m really having a hard time, I’ll get up and clean something in the kitchen. I used to get so angry and frustrated and toss and turn. Now I accept this is just part of my life. I’m calmer even if I’m not sleeping the way I think I’m supposed to.
 
During the day I’m not as good at allowing things to just be, I’m still tossing and turning. Life is at times very hard, challenging and painful. I easily fall into depression. Yesterday, I spoke to an old friend who is dealing with some of life’s bumps. He said he chooses to not be depressed. If he starts feeling that way he gets himself out of it by realizing all the good things he has in life from his family to waking up and being in sunshine and seeing flowers (he lives in CA). I’ve always had a hard time (yes, I’ve been in therapy and on medication) with the concept of being in control of and/or ability to choose depression. It’s a part of me, how can I choose? I’m understanding it a little differently now. Acceptance is key.  Being grateful for what I have and realizing the good things.  Acknowledging what I get done in a day rather than focusing on what I didn’t do or the To Do list that is still so long.  If I don’t ease up on myself – who will? I need to change how I view things – train my brain. This isn’t totally new to me, I’m just realizing it again. For me, I have to actively change my thoughts on a daily basis. 
 
I also need to accept my limitations.  TADA! Is getting much busier than we’ve been in quite some time – so much is happening – as soon as we close one show we’re starting the next. Actually, we start the next one during the last one. I’m not directing as much but the hiring and working with new staff has its own challenges and takes the same amount of time (sometimes even more). So, I’ve decided that I will write these “Notes From Nina” every three to four weeks. I love writing to you – I love writing period – but it takes a lot out of me and a lot of time. I don’t want to rush it or throw something together just ’cause it’s on the schedule. I want to be deliberate and intentional in what I do and the choices I make.
 
I hope you’re sleeping well and are seeing the good things in life. It’s not perfect. Did anyone say it would be?  

Best,

Janine Nina Trevens
Executive & Producing Artistic Director